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God Bless America! God blast Harlan Ellison!

Dear Suckers..er, I mean surfers, for this update, I decided to change the title of my website. I don't think anyone has ever done that before (without good reason). I mean, Crunchy Tacos are great, but everytime I hear the name of my page, it gets progressively less and less clever, sort of like any song from the eighties. Also, I wanted to make this page more confusing, especially to newbies and that jerk Harlan Ellison that I am always venting my anger at. I have to add, at this point, that I believe Harlan Ellison is singlehandedly responsible for the most heinous atrocities commited in human history: everything from the Spanish Inquisition to the Russian Pogroms to the Olsen Twins. Also, his book "Working Without a Diet" was lacking in energy and wordliness. - Julian Perez

Silly rabbit, text files are for kids!

My Themed Image Gallery : Listen, it's obvious I won't be updating this anytime in the next eon, and it takes forever to load, so don't go here.
My Movie Gallery: Pics change every Tuesday (or whenever I damn well feel like it)
Sign my guestbook : or I'll feed you to the sharkticons!
The Complete Transformer Toy List: Has every TF "officially" made listed. Couchy, eh?
The Transformer Chronology: Read it and see why Megatron is so grumpy
Transformers RoboMAC RPG rules: I don't want to go into the hundreds of jokes I could have at the expense of RoboMAC...
Complete Tech Spec List : Has those card things you foolishly threw out
Unofficial Micromaster Tech Specs : This document is so unofficial, It was written without even the writer's permission!
My Scanned Instruction Booklets: The one really original thing in this website!
The Movie Script: Has those cut lines where Megatron says "and it was the Lord of Evil, Harlan Ellison, that gave me the idea to attack the shuttle and vanquish the Autobots!"
Autobot City: "the kind of place, that makes a bum feel like a king..."
the 1984 commercial Poster: nifty, eh?
The Japanese TF:TM poster: See, Japan's this whole other country ,and they do things differently, like movie posters
The Transformers FAQ v4.2 - Part One : Solves all your TF - toast questions
The Transformers FAQ v4.2 - Part Two: FAQ - licious!
The Transformers FAQ v4.2 - Part Three: This will not give you gas
The Transformers FAQ v4.2 : (If you need to know what part of the FAQ this is, well, that's just pathetic)
the Gestalt Transformers List: feeling inferior and insecure because you don't have these toys?

Wheeljack's Star Spangled Website Of Fun

Did you know there were other TF websites besides mine?

Optimus's WWW site: a whole calcium inriched chunk o'links
Burt Ward's Transformer site: Holy computer geek, Batman! Burt Ward likes TFs?
The Transformers Encyclopedia: Not the fun type of Encyclopedia, the other kind
Teltran's Transformers Site: Teltran - 1 has shut down for a bit, because it switched to Windows 98 (just kidding).
Megatron's Decepticon Club: Everyone who doesn't speak Spanish, wait outside
My Dad's University site: Okay, okay, there's nothing in there on TFs, but it is my Dad's...
Primacron's TF page: Visit the page or he'll sick Unicron on you!
The Nixtr's page: Warning:spammers shot on sight
Call of the Primitives Screen Grabs: Despite the title, you don't need to grab anything
Gregg Gaub's TF site: these are the mountains where Gregg makes Tech Specs for fans...
Rodimus's Homepage: fact:Rodimus does not run this site!(gasp!)
the French-Canadian guy's TF Website, eh: You need good French grades to understand the talk there, eh.
the Cybertron Cafe: The frappuccinos are to die for!
Astrotrain's site: "Top 5% of all sites!" -Astrotrain
Fortress Maximus's page: feel free to tickle Fort Max's belly
The TF ring site: Ever wanted to wander blindly through an endless list of TF sites? I know I have!
Soundwave's Archives: Whatever you do, don't ask Soundwave about the late Howard Cosell...
the Nightbeat page: that butt kicking Headmaster has his own page!
Ratbat's TF page: this site is one cheap shot after another
Steve Stonebreaker's page: full of sodium free text documents
Stan Bush's Homepage: Home of washed up has beens living off royalties
Skywarp's fun page: not affiliated with the Skywarp Rubber Band Factory in Danbury, Conneticut
Chris J. 's page: remember : don't drink the water!
The Rock's TF page: I was as strong as I could be, nothing ever got to me...
Khoa Vong's TF page: When somebody gets you mad, tell them to Khoa Vong from here to hell!
Cyclonus's page: "behold, Cyclonus, the warrior, and his cream cheese sandwich"
the Ark Archives: take a tub of popcorn and an old projector with you
the Autobase: It's kind of like Area 51, only without any Ted Koppel investigations
the Devastator home page: be sure to read "Devastator's Deep Contemplative Thoughts"
Jetfire's TF page: web page done by: the We Didn't Try Very Hard Company
The Ruins of Cybertron: Not just a pile of 3000 year old rubble!
Temple of Primus: Primus thinks he's all that and a bag of chips just because he's a god
the UK Transmasters page: those Brits really know how to party, man
Yet Another TF page: This isn't really a link to anything, I just put it in here to make it look like I have a lot of links (just kidding).
Walkertron's TF page: Be sure to catch him in his new show: "Walkertron: Texas Ranger" (man, CBS must be really desperate for new shows
My Main Man Windcharger's page: Minicars make great stocking stuffers
Vector Sigma's Chamber: Vector Sigma, that cool supercomputer with morning breath, has his own page!
Victory Leo's Den : Victory Leo's actual name is Leonard Englebert Lifeshutz
Vincent's TF page : Watch out! One wrong move and he fills you with laughing gas
Unicron's TF page: Just a reminder: because Unicron is as big as a planet, it isn't smart to insult his mother
Thundercracker's Page: I warn you, Thundercracker is a card carrying member of the Communist Party
Star Sabre's Japanese TF page : Remember what Star Sabre says: "Brush and floss, for strong healthy teeth"
Stanley Lui's page : Stanley Lui is just one of a clone species called the Lui
Spoon's TF Domain: SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!
Soundwave9's page: no relation to that other Soundwave
Skyfire's TF page: the webmaster's reaction to Montezuma's revenge
Skram's TF page: "Hey you kids! Get off my lawn!" - Skram
Sixshot's page: Good page, you know, good as in Government Cheese good
Silverbolt's homepage: Silverbolt once looked out a 5 story window and passed out
Shrine to Transformers: Sort of like those "blah" shrines in Little Tokyo, you know, the ones that use the same ugly rock over and over...
Shrine of Megatron: Formerly Republican Party Headquarters
Sethra's TF page: Sethra performs her magic routine every 5:00 AM eastern standard
Sean's Trans Formers page: What? Can't I have a single link without a wise assed remark?
Scorponok's Sector of Cyberspace!: It is very impolite to stare when Scorponok is not wearing his head
Rodimus Prime's homepage : this page is brought to you by the letters C and F, and by the number 3
Rockman's TF homepage: His mom is the lady in the commercial who asks you to come in and smell her toilet
Robozone's TF page: Robozone! Robozone! I can't believe I'm still in Robozone!
Raksha's TF page: At last, someone that I hate more than Harlan Ellison!
Raiser's Transformers Page: did everybody wang Chung tonight?
Powermaster Optimus Prime's page: not just any Optimus, oh no, he's Powermaster Optimus Prime!
Planet Junkion: Clean and neat!
Phantom's TF homepage: the ghost who walks, the man who cannot die has his own TF page!
Pearce's TF homepage : the men in black don't want you to know about this page
Optimus's Extra Storage Space: formerly known as Optimus's batchelor pad
the Optimus Prime Shrine: Crisppity! Crunchety! Peanut Buttery!!
Omega Supreme's homepage: get your free "mysticvision" glasses here
Omar's Transformers page: remember: it's bad manners to raise the dead in front of Omar
Naonori's TF page : Okay, you spell "Naonori" better!
The TF: Movie Homepage: lots of gifs, wavs, and Quantum Fusion Reactors
the Morency Universe: I'm not kidding. This link does take you to another Universe!
More...Much More Than meets the eye: Like those crappy "Magic - Eye" posters, you know, the ones where you have to cross your eyes, cluck like a chicken, and dance like a mainiac to see?
Welcome to Cybertron: register at customs every two days during your stay
Mixmaster's Archive: Mixmaster: friend to hardhats everywhere
Megatron's Dominion: formerly the Republican Party Headquarters, under new management
Max's Transformers:2001: You thought it was great when Dion Warwick could see the future..
Marcus's TF page : Just one question: where does he get the money for a computer? He doesn't get much cash "rangering" around the place
Marauder's TF page : the white zone is for the loading and unloading of Autobots only
the TF Jumpstation:
Jim's TF page: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a non stick frying pan!"
Jazzy the Sane's Page: between you and me he's playing without a full deck
Jazz's TF page: funded by the corporation for public broadcasting
Jazz's Little Shrine to Cybertron : It's like prozac for your browser
the Cybertron News Network - CNN: tonight on Larry King Live: Senator Maurice O'Doyle
Jameel's TF homepage : A little country, a little rock and roll
Jacob's TF World: on Jacob's TF world, people sleep standing up
the Iacon Database: this is where O.J. used to live
Iacon: wipe your feet before coming in!